This has been a fascinating thread
I find that having begun a poly relationship my idea of deal breakers has changed. Since I'm not looking for the One and Only, some of the need or desire to have a huge overlap of shared goals or desires is less pressing. If she doesn't want to go hiking with me (frex), that's okay. I'm not going to give up hiking and don't have to.
Deal breakers:
- Tobacco use of any kind, but especially smoking
- Fanatics of any stripe, be it religion, dietary choices, political persuasion, sports team or what have you. Engage me in a spirited discussion, that's great. But don't expect me to adopt your passion just because it's your passion
- At this point, I wonder if I could be with someone who is religious. I've gotten to be less tolerant of the Sky Fairy lovin' folks (as no doubt is evident by the Sky Fairy comment!)
- Monogamous or, more to the point, expects me to be monogamous. Been there. Done that. Got the divorce.
- Someone who finds my collection of erotic nudes a deal breaker for her