I did that for years before

For those commenters who think they get along well with people from a "lower" class background to themselves, I would say the problems of class difference don't prevent me getting along with those who grew up more privileged than me, just that the type of understanding one needs to maintain a deep tie over a long time seems always to be absent. I think also that this type of understanding tends to only go one way.

For example, my partner and I both expect our parents to die and leave us nothing. I have received nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) from my parents since I was 16, because they have nothing to give. My partner and I fashion important aspects of our lives - career decisions and money particularly - around the fact that our future is determined by our own effort. I have friends, however, who never even have to check their bank balance because they know it will be big enough that they don't have to care (due to inherited privilege). These people I get along well with, but they tend not to understand the decisions people like me have to make. Often they think "money isn't important", not a view many people from working class backgrounds.

I put it to the Pandagon commenters that people from privileged backgrounds don't have to receive similar types of understanding from their inferiors.

That said, I will not accept from anyone the idea that working class and trailer trash people should use their childhood lack of privilege as an excuse for bigotry, small-mindedness or racism. For example, although I came from a very poor background I have a masters degree and I am living in Japan, soon to move to the UK. I don't know what it's like in the US, but in Australia and to a lesser extent the UK, a poor background is not a guarantee of intellectual poverty or lack of interesting life opportunities. You can make what you want of your own life.